Today is the coldest day so far this fall. The weatherwoman said there was a slight chance of snow, and though I’m doubtful of its arrival, the presence of gray snow clouds lingers in the sky. Kitty keeps staring at the falling leaves through the back sliding door, occasionally clawing at the glass. If I didn’t worry too much, I would probably let her go outside and pounce on the crinkly piles. As I sit in my warm house and lazily do my homework, it occurs to me that this will be my last Sunday to spend alone for awhile, possibly for the rest of my life. Even though I love Chris’s company, it does make me a little sad. I’ve really learned to value my solitude.
Last year at this time, I was desperate for peace. When I moved into this apartment last November, I had never lived alone. If you’ve never lived by yourself with your own thoughts as your only companion, it is something I recommend. I have learned to accept my strengths and weakness. I have challenged myself to overcome my past and the influences of the outside world. I have even frustrated myself and had no one to blame. It has been an enlightening experience, and if I’m being honest, one I’m a little sad to see end.
I am really excited about my upcoming move. When I woke up this morning in Chris’s bed and his arms, I had a feeling of comfort and love that I’ve only felt with him. He has been and continues to be a blessing in my life that I will always be thankful for. I know he will never ask me to give up any of myself or the lessons I’ve learned in the past year. I know this next year will be filled with as many discoveries as the last and probably more positive ones, but I know I will never feel the exact same peaceful feeling that I know right now.
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