This Is Where I Start Embarassing My Family

Categories: Relations |

I wrote this on 7.9.06, four days after my divorce finalized.

So I’m dating again. I’ve decided to not let the man keep me down. When I say “the man” I mean my ex-husband, and when I say “Get me down” I mean that whole marriage thing. I find that old ways come back too easily. It’s not hard to remember how to flirt or juggle multiple guys and dates in a one week period (or day). It does come with new challenges. When I was 18 and 19, I had a hard time not sleeping with my dates. But after three years of obligatory sex, it’s not a problem. Plus now I don’t have to keep my affair with the Energizer Bunny on the down low. Now the problem is explaining the divorce title to parents and friends. How do you say, “I’m only 23 and I”m already divorced, despite the adult acne on my face. And I’m dating your son.” At least I don’t have to pretend that I’m a virgin. And to the question, “How long have you been divorced?” Looking down at my watch and responding “Four days!” doesn’t seem like the right approach. Because at that moment, they would realize that their son has been talking about me for two months. It will no longer matter that we’ve been separated for seven months and that I haven’t seen my ex in four. I am, from that point forward, tainted and dating their precious child. It will always be my fault.

Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind if I had to wear a scarlet “D” on my shirt. It would save me the effort of explaining my divorce. In the future, I think I’m going to require all future suitors to tell their parents before I have to meet them. Or maybe I just won’t meet the parents, even if Chris tells me “They won’t care. They’ll just be happy that I’m dating a girl.” Which opens another can of worms….

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