I’m A Hound Dog

Categories: Married Life |
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Six weeks into our marriage, the indomitable had to play the puppy card. In case you’re unfamiliar with the game of marital hearts, the puppy card is the only thing the beats the queen of raging baby fever.

The biological clock is an amazing thing, especially since I swore I’d never swell up like a blueberry just to endure hours upon hours of painful labor in order to parent a whining, screaming, pooping infant that would develop into a bratty teenager. No thanks. But then a good friend had a baby, and after I caught a whiff of the intoxicating baby aroma, I was a goner. I found myself constantly dreaming about having children. I would whimper to the indomitable about wanting babies. I thought he was a mean bully who wouldn’t knock me up. At first, when he suggested we’d do a “trial run” on a puppy, I was appalled. I couldn’t believe that he thought that a puppy would fulfill my yearnings to be a mother.

However, the boredom of being a housewife started to wear on me, and I eventually agreed with him. I did a little research on petfinder.com and found a litter of Australian Cattledog/Bluetick Coonhound mix puppies at the Williamson County Animal Control, and we stopped by last Friday to check them out. For some reason, the indomitable had thought that we wouldn’t end up with a dog after our first visit. I knew there was no way I could set eyes on puppies and not take one home.

Of the nine puppies, only two didn’t reflect their Bluetick ethnicity. Call me racist, but my deep hatred of the Tennessee Vols did not help my desire for a Bluetick. Lucy was the quieter of the two light colored pups, and when we took her to the visitation room and she licked my chin, I knew she was ours.

Lucy is a great puppy. She oscillates between napping on my lap and threatening the lives of her chew toys. I didn’t really anticipate the amount of pee puddles that I’ve had to clean and how often I’d have to scream “NO”. Lucy is definitely a test run for parenthood. I’ve had little to no time for housework or laundry. Unlike babies, the puppy can already walk and follow me room to room. There is also a limit on the extent of time we can spend away from the house since she has a small puppy bladder and does not wear a diaper.

Now, as I sit here watching her trying to eat the carpet, I’m so glad we got the puppy instead of a baby. However, as one of indomitable’s friends has told him, “At first, you are glad that you pulled the puppy card and that you delayed the baby. But it stops working over time, and you end up with a puppy and a baby.”

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