You’re two months old. It’s so hard for me to believe that it’s been two months since I gave birth to you. This month we’ve started to settle into our new “normal”. I use quotations around normal because every day is just a little like the day before and just a little different, and though it’s generally the same daily routine, you’ve kept me on my toes. Because of you, I don’t think I’ll ever describe my life as boring again.
You’ve accomplished major milestones in the last four weeks. Right after your one month birthday, you began smiling and interacting. Your smile has the ability to brighten a person’s day. I must admit, however, that it doesn’t always brighten my night, especially after a 3am feeding when you’d rather smile at me instead of going back to sleep. But even then, it’s exceptionally cute. You also started cooing a couple weeks after the first smiles. Your noises are adorable. It’s our first opportunity to hear your voice and wonder what it will be like to hear you speak your first words.
I’m very proud to say that breast feeding is going well and we’ve successfully weaned off the nipple shields. Occasionally we go back to them, mainly for my comfort, but I feel confident that we could survive without them. It has increased my milk supply and the strength of my let-down so we’ve had some comical nursing sessions. At the same time that my breasts started filling faster, you began sleeping through the night a few times a week. This makes for a happier daddy and a mommy with boulders for boobs. Thankfully, I’ve got a great pump that allows me to avoid engorgement and go back to sleep.
Speaking of pumping, I’ve got a large stash of frozen breast milk that I’ve been adding to and saving since you came home from the hospital. I did this so we could eventually leave you in the loving care of your grandparents while your daddy and I went out on a date. It took me several weeks to be comfortable with leaving you for more than an hour. Your grandpa joked that I had separation anxiety, but he was right. This month I finally felt ready to go out on my own. Unfortunately, this month you’ve decided that you’re not willing to drink from a bottle so I haven’t been able to leave you for more than three hours.
In the past two weeks, I have left you several times with your grandmother for an hour or two while I went to the YMCA. Every time I come home, you’re being rocked on the front porch in a very deep sleep. It’s wonderful to see you as I’m pulling into the driveway. I’m amazed by how peaceful and happy you on her chest. I know you’ll have a very special relationship with your grandmother. I hope you always treasure that.
I know I’ll always treasure our relationship. The other day, while you and I were talking to one another, I commented to your grandmother that you interact with me more than anyone else, and she said, “She loves you.” I had never thought about that. I just assumed that you cooed at me because I was your food source and constant companion. Ever since that moment, I’ve felt a new connection with you. A stronger connection. A mother-daughter connection. I admit that there are challenging moments when you are crying without an obvious reason that I get frustrated and start to lose sight of that. I promise that despite all the challenges, whether colic or adolescence, I will remember our connection and love.