I Do Know That This Is Funny

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I generally don’t hold an opinion on the war in Iraq. I have my inclinations, but I also feel like we will never have full understanding and disclosure of the situation and, therefore, try not to be steadfast in my stance. However, I do love Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

While You Fetch Some Files

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Japanese companies put out some of the craziest products.

Who Needs a Safety Pin?

Categories: Lucy | 1 Comment

MacGyver’s got nothing on my dog. She can get out of tight situations in snap. In a snap of her jaws, that is.


I knew she was a chewing wonder the day I left her unattended to go the bathroom. Reemerging after I had painted three toenails, I found her in the living room destroying my laptop cord. Soon I began discovering bite marks on furniture (like my 150 year old antique church pew), flip-flops, Country Living magazines, and expensive silk pillows. It was apparent that I have a teething puppy on my hands.

Needless to say, I’m not surprised to see her chew. However, I was very disappointed that she annihilated a brand new harness in less than 24 hours. I didn’t catch her in the act so I couldn’t really punish her, and it was partially our fault anyway for leaving it on her (for that one unsupervised hour).

But before I deemed that $16 purchase a lost cause, I vaguely remembered a sign in the store saying “Guaranteed (Even if Chewed!)” I had my doubts and thought I might be recalling a sign above a more expensive collar. Like all internet addicted people, I googled the brand - Lupine. Much to my surprise, I was right. Lupine guaranteed their harnesses. In fact, they have a arrangement with most of the stores that carry their product. I called the store, Happy ReTales, and they said they would happily switch out the harness.

I originally chose this brand because it was a cute, reasonably priced product. However, their policy has gained them a customer for life!


Unbridled Enjoyment

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unbridled enjoyment

Quarter Century

Today is my twenty-fifth birthday. It’s just slightly more exciting than my seventeenth birthday when I could finally go to R-rated movies without an accompanying adult. Now I can officially rent a car from Budget, Hertz, or Alamo without paying the extra $20/day underage driver fee. Some people also associate this mark with a decrease in their insurance premium, but since I’ve been married-divorced-remarried since I was 20, I’ve enjoyed that reduced rate for many years. (I’ve tried to use that as my silver lining for the first mishap.)

To me, it is just another day. Yes, it means that at least ¼ of my life is over. However, I managed to accomplish my only goal, graduating college, before it happened. I guess the things that scare me most are knowing what I’ll encounter in the next twenty-five. Before I am fifty, my life will begin to take shape into a more lasting, more permanent form. I’ve had the pleasure of do-overs until now. It will bring me children, a career, and many other currently inconceivable events. I find it all intimidating, but I do feel that these past years have armed me with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Most importantly, I now know that I should always seek my own happiness and worry less of what other people may think of me. Also, I have surrounded myself with loving people and have begun to break down emotional barriers that previously existed with friends and family. Last year I predicted that my twenty-fourth year was going to be the best ever, and I was right. But I think they’ll only get better from there.

I’m twenty-five. I’m now undeniably in my mid-twenties. However, I’m not bothered by it. Yes, today is just another day, but I will not let this be just another year. Or maybe that’s just the celebratory beer talking.

Farm Fresh Franklin

At one point in time I thought that I would never move outside of Metro Nashville. I thought I was too hip and cool to be suburbanized. But once my partying-until-I-puke days were over, I realized that raising children within Davidson county left one with something to be desired, and we bought our house in Franklin.

Franklin is a fantastic town. I’m convinced that everyone should want to live here, and believe me, once you do, you’ll never want to leave. The downtown area is designed after European towns and is filled with lots of boutiques, antique shops, and local restaurants. Once a month there is a festival, and they shut down traffic and the streets fill up with vendors. (This usually includes the best kettle corn vendor of all time.)

Another great feature about Franklin is the weekly Farmer’s Market. Even though it’s not nearly as diverse and sprawling as the Nashville Farmer’s Market, it has plenty to choose from with a quaint, cozy atmosphere. You can find an assortment of fruits and vegetables along with an array of homemade goods like quilts, soaps, jewelry, cheeses, and fried pies. As you tour the booths and meet the friendly folks, a bluegrass band plays for the crowd. It feels like something straight out of Mayberry.

Today we stopped and got a couple different squashes and a cantaloupe. If you’ve only limited yourself to store-bought cantaloupe, you’re really missing out. I’m not sure what takes place from the farm to the grocery store, but it takes away from the flavor. There is nothing better than a melon fresh from the vine. It tastes like sweet suburbanization.


I’ve Got My New Shoes On

The indomitable and I have a tradition of giving one another small gifts everyday for a week leading up to the other’s birthday. Usually these presents are small. For example, yesterday I received a pepper mill from Target. However, my first pre-birthday present was a lovely pair of flip-flops that I had put on my Amazon wish list. They are from Simple’s Green Toe line and are made of more natural material, like jute, cork, and crepe rubber. Simple uses less glues and toxins in the construction of the Green Toe line too. They also included a card in the shoe box requesting that you recycle your shoes, such as using them as a flower pot or a dog chew, instead of adding them to the already abundant landfills. But since they are extremely comfy and one of few pairs of sandals that actually have an arch in the sole, I seriously doubt my pair will be in danger of that happening.


Tasty Until the Cows Come Home

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Yesterday, after we finished our work out at the Y, the indomitable and I went to Petsmart to enroll Lucy in puppy training classes and buy her a few new toys. Once we finished there, we ran next door to Publix because I was in need of basil and the indomitable was out of cereal. We left the grocery store with one package of basil, two boxes of cereal bars, and five boxes of cereal, and only one was selected by the indomitable. I think we are all familiar with what happens when a PMSing hungry woman goes to the store.

Normally I select plain cereals that are high in fiber, like FiberOne and plain bran flakes. These allow me to further pursue my hobby of pooping. However, last night I was captivated by a new cereal, Chocolate Chex. I thought it would make for a great dessert that was both delicious and, with the combination of milk, full of osteoporosis-preventing calcium.


In fact, they are delicious. They may be too good since we I haven’t managed to stop eating them long enough to add milk. I seriously doubt they’ll be a staple in our indomitably-sleeping household since these things start to loose their healthy quality when consumed in mass quantities. However, I highly recommend them for people with will power. And luckily for you doubting Thomases out there, Walmart has free samples on their website.

Melons Are Gonna Roll (Into My Belly)

Categories: green living | 2 Comments

One Sunday many weeks ago, the indomitable and I ran to Lowe’s for some then dire, now insignificant tool. Since the store was closing in twenty minutes and I hate entering a soon-to-be-closed establishment, I decided to chill in the garden department. We had just moved into the new house, and I was still pipe dreaming about my garden. However, I didn’t have a tiller nor had I dug out a plot for my veggies. Regardless, I found myself drawn to the seedlings, and after twenty uninterrupted minutes, I bought about $15 worth of plants-a mixture of cucumbers, squash, zucchini, okra, and one watermelon or so I thought.

When I bought the plants, I didn’t really think about how far vining vegetables like to spread. I took me three days to manually dig my small garden patch, and after a lot of sweat and a sunburn, I decided to plant my watermelon away from my garden. When I discovered that I had three melon seedlings instead of one, I decided to plant them in the flowerbed on the side of the house. This seemed like a good spot since the ground was already dug out and I didn’t expect much luck with them. We never had much success with melons growing up in Arkansas, where there is more limestone than soil. But this isn’t Arkansas.


Did I mention that the flowerbed on the side of the house flanks the driveway? And now, three large watermelon vines with their dozen love children are encroaching on my parking place and I have to instruct people to park on the street because we lack space in our driveway.

Giving Fashion The Boot

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When pointy-toe shoes came out several years ago, I swore that I would never wear them. They looked uncomfortable and unnecessary. I could not understand why I should make my size 8 1/2 foot look like a size 10 with a witch point. I resisted the fashion trend for about a year and half, but eventually conformity got the best of me. Today, I have a shoe rack so full of them that they’ll be out of style before I can wear every single pair.

This year there is a new trend that absolutely repulses me-the bootie. It is ugly and clunky and covers the pretty, feminine arc of the top of the foot while making the ankle look thicker. I swear on my pointy-toe collection that I will never wear these shoes. Especially this particular pair by Donna Karen because they cost $734 on Zappos.