A Heavy Burden

Like so many women, I’ve struggled with my weight. Over the last five years, I’ve oscillated between a size 2 and a size 12. In order to stay on the lower end, I have to watch what I eat very carefully. This has resulted in never ending criticism when dining with others, usually beginning with some form of sarcasm and ending with, “You’re so small.” I cannot help but roll my eyes.

Yes, I am small. However, I work very hard at it. It is not something that I was genetically blessed with. Two years ago I weighed 148lbs. It took six months of daily cardio and a diet of 1400 calories per day, combined with a terrible marriage and divorce, to shed thirty pounds. In those six months, I went from a size 12-14 to a 0-2, my lowest as an adult.

During that time, I ate a Slim Fast shake for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine/Healthy Choice meal for lunch(only those under 200 calories), a Luna bar snack, and endless vegetables for dinner. I did not allow myself sugar, bread, fruit, or caffeine. As soon as I got home, I immediately went to the gym. Though a daily workout time is painful for some, it was a retreat from marital hell. That is, until my ex-husband decided he would join me. Shortly after he began doing that, I left him.

Several months later, I met the indomitable. It was at a time when I was ready to reintroduce myself to a social life. That involved drinking too much wine and eating way too much sushi. One thing that did draw me to the indomitable was his YMCA membership. A few months before we met, he joined the Y and started going in the morning with his dad. Since I belonged to the Y also, we started going in the evenings after work; therefore, he was going twice a day. Needless to say, he found himself losing substantial amounts of weight. I, however, saw my weight increase since my calorie intake had increased.

Today, I weigh 130lbs and wear a size 6. This is a few pounds heavier than usual due to honeymoon gorging. Also, the indomitable and I lift weights twice a week, a newer activity for me, so I’d like to think that accounts for a few pounds. Regardless of the reason, I am several sizes bigger than I was this time last year.

However, I’ve come to a conclusion about my body: I’m okay with it. No, I wouldn’t mind weighing a few pounds less. There is something upsetting about 130 vs. 129, but I’m not going to kill myself over it. For the past few years, I’ve fluctuated between eating everything as if it’s my last opportunity to eat it again and eating as if I need Sally Struthers to do a telethon on my behalf. I’m going to try to just enjoy myself, which means taking pleasure in food and my health and well-being. I will no longer beat myself up for eating a bagel or piece of cheese nor will I continue to avoid dining out with friends because there is nothing healthy on the menu. Hopefully, I can avoid criticism when I decide to refrain from eating a piece of cake or some other sweet. And if I do receive it, I’m going to correct them and say, “No. I’m so medium.”

It Sucks

Categories: Married Life | 1 Comment

Like all newlyweds, the indomitable and I have spent some time at customer service desks in stores returning wedding gifts. Unfortunately, we were unsuccessful in returning all the crystal vases and pitchers that we did not register for. Why anyone would believe newlyweds want that stuff, I don’t know. I’m convinced that these items are regifted until they reach a home, such as ours, where the last receivers cannot bring themselves to give something that useless. I don’t think I could look someone in the eye knowing that I had filled their closet with a worthless heavy crystal candy dish that resembles a 60’s ashtray.

We returned several Target items that we registered for, items that were worthy of keeping. However, momma needed some credit. I combined it with several Target gift cards that we received and bought this.


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That’s right. I bought a fancy, expensive Dyson vacuum cleaner. It’s the one that is advertised by the guy with the snooty British accent. As he states, it does not loose suction, which is much different than the lazy bastard vacuum I got from my first wedding. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually using all the attachments. I still haven’t figured out what the round brushy thing is for, but I’ve used it.I do have one major complaint about the Dyson. I can’t stop using it. I’ve vacuumed at least three times a week since we’ve bought it, everywhere from the bedroom baseboards to the toilet. I’m almost willing to vacuum other people’s homes. Almost.

Have You Seen This?

Categories: Picklings | 1 Comment

Choosing the Lesser Evil

Today the indomitable and I went to the grocery store for the first time in a while. We decided to load up on salad fixins, and I was happy to discover the store brand organic greens were on sale, 2 for $5. However, they were packaged in plastic containers, which were a number 7 recyclable. The #7 is the most difficult plastic to reuse, and our local recycling center only takes #1 & #2. End result, I decided to go with the bagged non-organic spinach. You really have to question your manufacturer’s motive. I think it’s safe to say that they were trying to reach a market instead of saving the earth.

BTW, if you need more information on plastic numbers, check this out.

Where His Great-Grandmother’s House Once Stood

Categories: Photography | No Comments

mama curtis house

He’s My Murse

As posted, I was sick on my honeymoon. I can’t say that I was totally surprised. I woke up the day of the wedding with a tickle in my throat but managed to ignore it until the next day after all the out of town family members had left. Then it came on me like fog on the San Francisco Bay. I was out for four days in a cold medicine induced funk. The indomitable used this time to prove his husbandly value, nursing me back to health with chicken soup, cleaning the house, and doing the laundry. Further proving that fat angry men have a softer side, deep down underneath all their beard hair.

I finally came to on Thursday. Because of my ailment, we missed our original plan for the honeymoon. (Actually, the original plan was to go to Puerto Rico but I convinced the indomitable to buy our house the month before, thus killing the PR trip.) Instead we decided to go camping at the South Cumberland State Park, specifically the Stone Door campsite, located in Grundy County, Tennessee. It’s a large forested plateau with lots of hiking trails and secluded swimming holes. The Stone Door is actually a crack between two huge rocks that allow you to hike down to Savage Gulf.

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It’s beautiful and amazing. Unfortunately, we went on a rain day so pictures were limited. Also, I was a little hesitant to take my $1,000 camera hiking. As an unemployed person, I cherish my assets. Another important note to make was that the huge downpour made it very difficult to start a fire. Most of the wood was wet. Both the indomitable and I set out to find firewood. The indomitable, an experienced camper, brought back three pieces of firewood. I, the girl who has only camped at campsites with concrete flats for your tent and iron stoves, found about fifteen pieces. However, his lighting skills proved to be superior. I guess we made a good team. Just remember, though, I found and cut the wood. Without my wood, there would be no fire to light.

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The indomitable also took me to Greeter Falls. It’s a steep mile hike from the park’s parking lot and includes stairs, wooden steps, and a ladder. However, it is worth the intimidating journey. When you get to the bottom, you find a waterfall flowing into a large, deep pool and absolutely no one around. The indomitable and I took that time to wash our hair and hang out. Again, I didn’t take my camera. I’m just a wimp.

On the way to the park, we passed through the small hick town that was the boyhood home of the indomitable. I know it’s hard to imagine him as a child. You kind of expect him to pop out of the womb with a full beard, growling something about the Democratic party and ineptitudes of University professors. However, his mom reassures me that he was a child once. She’s a great lady, and I don’t think she would lie to me.

I got to see the barn that Mike, the indomitable father-in-law, built next to the old homestead. It was in this barn that Vicki, the indomitable mother-in-law, home schooled her two oldest children. However, not everyone in the town apparently knew that because one of the locals got concerned when someone called for Vicki, and the indomitable told them, “Momma’s asleep in the barn.”

barn

My final honeymoon picture is of an abandoned bus. I realize that these are common finds in redneck country. However, I find it a little funny that it was parked next to the barn. After all, the indomitable never rode a school bus.

bus

I Admit I Clicked On It

Categories: Picklings | 2 Comments

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At first I thought this person was trying to contact Tom Cruise by offering him a placenta. However, I discovered she just had sterile home birth supplies.

Things That Suck

Categories: Picklings | 2 Comments

include but are not limited to:
being sick on your honeymoon