Knowing she would be paid off this month, my car decided to start acting a fool. I’m pretty sure the transmission is starting to slip. Honestly, I have no idea what that feels like, but if I were to guess, I would say that it feels like whatever she’s doing. Plus saying that makes me sound like I know what I’m talking about.
So this morning, I followed the indomitable to the repair shop so we could drop off my car and then drop him off at work. This would allow me to drive his Jeep Wrangler today in case I needed to go somewhere. Let me first say, that I have a capricious relationship with the Jeep. It’s a fun car. I enjoy the freedom of putting the top down, letting the sun warm my arms, and the wind thrashing my hair into knots. Fellow Jeep drives wave at me to acknowledge my membership in the Jeep club. I get attention from guys and bull dykes alike. It can make you feel good about yourself, sometimes.
It is, however, everything you would expect out of a car owned by the indomitable. It has a lift kit, tires that come up to my waist, and a pointy red thing in the back to get you out of the mud if you get stuck. It does not have a radio or a backseat. Empty Diet Mtn. Dew cans try to escape every time you open the door. Also, the indomitable attacked a 154 decibel fog horn to it. This allows him to express his road rage without physical violence, and it also lets him scare people walking on the side of the road.
The Jeep sounds great, huh? What am I complaining about? Well, it’s a manual transmission. In defense of myself, let me say that I can drive a stick. I drove one for over a year. However, I drove a 1989 Honda Prelude. It weighed, maybe, 20 lbs. This Jeep is a huge ass four-wheel drive vehicle. People get so close that I would shit my pants if it didn’t risk that I’d take my foot off the clutch.
Today, however, really takes the cake. I successfully drove the thing from his office to the house. As I was swinging a little wide so I could drop it into neutral and coast into the driveway, a little old gray hair was driving towards me on the road. She was plenty far away, but I guess the massive thing scared her. She stopped in the middle of the road and just stared at me. In the mean time, there was another car behind her honking its horn. Despite the raging lunatic and the fact that I was already in my driveway, she inched only a few feet closer, stopped by the driveway, and then took off. Don’t worry Granny. It scares me too.