When Feminism Stings

I consider myself a feminist. I’m not an extreme feminist. I’ve never burned my bra or hated someone for having a penis. I just firmly believe that women are capable of functioning successfully without a man and, at times, better. There are certain things that I believe are a man’s job, like taking out the trash. However, this should not be mistaken for me admitting weakness. I just don’t like to take out the trash.

The past few days, I’ve noticed that we’ve had a wasp flying in the area between the front door and the screen door. I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me to do something about it, but today when I saw a small nest next to the screen door’s hinge, I knew I was in trouble. My first reaction was to call the indomitable. He was in a meeting at work and didn’t answer his phone. I thought a moment and remember that a year ago I was living alone, and at that time, it would have been my responsibility. I was still capable of killing bugs by myself. Mean, huge bugs with stingers. So I hopped in the car and set out for Walgreens.

It was dark when I came home and the porch light wasn’t on. Have you ever tried to unlock your door without any light? Have you ever done this with the fear of an allergic reaction from millions of wasp stings? To boot, the indomitable was at a hockey game so no one was around to drive me to the hospital if needed. As soon as I got safely inside, I prepared the bug spray. Our front door opens on the opposite side of the screen door. This made for easy access to the nest without opening the door all the way.

I cracked the door and sprayed the can. It scared the hell out of me. For some reason, I was imaging a gentle spray that suffocated the nest. What I got was a high power stream with the force of a fire hydrant. I thought it was going to knock down the nest, causing dozens of wasps to swarm me. Needless to say, I did not spray it for the required 2-3 seconds.

Now I find myself trapped in the house. I need to water my plants. I need to check the mail. But I’m not going outside. The indomitable isn’t home yet. He’ll have to walk through the front door to get inside. I could check it out before he gets here, but I think that he should check. It definitely seems like a man’s job.