Tonight is one of those nights when I cannot sleep. Though I am exceptionally tired, my mind is filled with thoughts that I need to vomit upon a keyboard. Nothing valuable or exciting, I just need to write.
2006 is over. I don’t want to write a clichéd year end review, but this one has been monumental for me. I started the year trying to reconcile with my ex-husband, and I completed the year in a relationship that can only be described as bfawesome (butt-fucking awesome). I realize that is a huge jump from one point to the other. It is definitely not one that I wanted or planned on, but I feel like it was given to me by God.
Before meeting Chris, I always looked for multiple paths to a certain as a way to justify my decisions. I know that’s a loaded statement so let me explain. For example, my ex-husband and I met through work. However, if I had not have met him that way, there is a chance I could have met him through his sister, who went to college in the same town as I. For some reason, I always think that God has a backup plan in case we make the wrong choice and he has to divert the course.
This year has helped me accept myself for my flaws and mistakes. I am really good at forgiving and forgetting others, but I have a tendency to repeatedly batter myself for poor decision. Falling in love with the most wonderful man was the result of a bad decision. Chris and I met through work. I got the job because my ex-husband’s aunt worked for the company. Had I never erred by marrying him and lived three miserable years of married life, I would have never felt a love so deep that my naturally frowning face stays in a permanent smile.
I am so thankful for 2006. I look forward to the adventures of 2007.