Something about this guy’s spandex pants, shiny satin white shirt, and golden sequins sash tells me that he wants neither a princess nor a mermaid
I’m feeling the need to buy something. It has been an emotionally draining week, where every day has been increasingly more trying than the day before. My usual response to times like these is to numb the pain by consuming food and commodities. Buying new things gives me a endorphin inspired euphoria, a happiness that cannot be achieved with a responsible credit card payment.
However, I’m facing a dilemma. For the first time in my life, I feel that I have enough clothes. When we were in San Francisco, I was introduced to the awesomeness of H&M. I responded correctly to this by purchasing one of everything in my size. Buying something for my home is also out because of the impending move. Over the next month, I will be attempting to shave all my belongings into Chris’s already overflowing duplex.
Nothing is more challenging than combining two well-established adults’ possessions into a space limited to 700 square feet. It is especially difficult when one person is a pack rat that has lived in the same home for several years and the other feels the need to own every kitchen appliance ever invented. We have a lot of shit, and it’s the wrong time of year for a yard sale.
In order to avoid buying something worthless, like a castle shaped bundt pan, I’m seeking advice from you, lurking reader. What do you buy when you’re stressed? Better yet, what else do you do to suppress the anxiety?
I hate it when my nose is stuffed up just enough that I can breathe, but every inhale is accompanied by a low whistling tone that no amount of picking or blowing can cure.
One Large Hunk of White Almond Bark.
I think I had about two servings, which is an hour on the elliptical machine. Balls.
I found an abandon kitten two weeks before my divorced finalized. The first few days she was in my home were ridden with anxiety about the responsibility of caring for another creature. I wore my friends out with worrisome talk. Ever since I decided to keep her, I have driven my friends crazy with stories expressing her undeniable cuteness.
The week my divorce finalized, I began to tell my friends and co-workers that the guy I had been seeing was Chris. My timing for this disclosure was completely independent of my court date and was actually prompted by his department moving from our company’s main campus to my department’s suburban branch. I expected some sneers and looks of concern because of my quick transition into a new relationship. Instead, I was greeted by relief from one friend, “I thought you were going to turn into the crazy cat lady!”
I guess my acerbic words about marriage and my inexhaustible feline chronicles scared her.
I never made it to the bed last night. The asthmatic Darth Vader noises erupting from the bedroom encouraged me to sleep on the sofa.