Well, I guess my monthly approach failed like most folks’ year-long resolution approach.  Life has gotten a little hectic around here, and I’ve forgotten to make myself a priority.  I still found time to veg out on tv while stalking my friends on Facebook, but I didn’t blog or work out.

However, I haven’t forgotten about my resolution to quit shopping so much.  In fact, I did a little reading on overshopping.  In my research, I figured out that I’m not an overshopper, or at least I’m not addicted to overshopping.  I definitely use it as a band aid for boredom, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy.  All those things have the potential to become an addiction, but I don’t think I’m there yet.  I’m going to resolve to be more mindful of my attitudes and feelings while I’m shopping, but I don’t think it’s 12-step program worthy.

Over the next few months, I’m going to focus on approaching my life with an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude.  I’ve been blessed with so much, and my life would be much fuller if I find a way to be mindful of this.  I don’t need to add anything to it.  I need to spend my time giving thanks and not by spending time wanting.

In The Happyness Project, Rubin tells how she transformed time spent on mundane tasks, like waiting for the bus, into time spent on gratitude mediation.   I’m going to try this while I’m lying with Cecilia in bed trying to get her to sleep at night or naptime.  I’m also going to express more gratitude towards friends and family members.  I don’t do this enough even though I feel it.  I’m pretty sure it will only strengthen the already strong bonds.  I’m also going to try to project a positive attitude.  This is an area I struggle with.  My default is to be sarcastic and critical.  That doesn’t reflect the happiness and gratitude that I feel.  It’s going to be hard, much harder than cutting back on my shopping, but it’s something I need to do.

I’d love to hear any advice that you guys have to offer.  How do you give thanks? Do you have a grateful heart? What’s your secret?

I admit it. I made a mistake.  I was waffling back and forth.  “Should it stay?” “Should it go?” And I let myself down.  I knew better.  I think my March 1st tweet says it all:

The stray cat that I’d been feeding had kittens in my mudroom last night. Shiiiiit!

It’s totally my fault.  I should have paid to get her fixed or taken her to the pound.  It’s just that it costs so much for a procedure for a cat that isn’t mine.  But I’m the one who’s fed her all these months and opened up my mudroom as shelter from the cold nights.   Alas, she is my cat, and I should have done better.  Damn.  Now I either need to find homes for four adorable kittens and get the cat fixed or take her to the pound.

Bob Barker raised me better.

“It didn’t have to be this way.”

“I wish I could go to prom with my friends…”

Well, in January, I resolved to conserve by spending less, recycling more, and decluttering.  There were some high points, and there were some low points.  I did a pretty good job of recycling more.  I was already pretty good at it, but I took it a step further by meticulously sending all scrap paper, plastic, and glass to our recycling area in the mud room.  However, after Chris has sinus surgery mid-month, things started getting a bit crazy since it’s his job to take everything to the recycling center.  (For those of you who have pick-up in your town, you better be recycling everything like mad.  You just don’t know how good you’ve got it.)  When the cardboard piles got so high that I couldn’t get to the washing machine, I started losing my mind.  Still, I didn’t stop.

On the decluttering front, I sent a very large bag to Goodwill.  I know I can send more, but my January resolutions don’t stop in January.  If I can keep sending stuff every month, I should be in a much better place.  I’m going to try to reduce some of the pantry clutter in the mud room.  (That poor room is a catch-all: laundry room, pantry, recycling center, tool shed. Ugh.)  I have a hard time not stocking up on stuff when it goes on sale.  Okay, I have a hard time not stocking up on stuff even when it’s not on sale.

My financial conservation failed.  I really struggle with this area of my life.  I know it could always be worse; we’re not in debt over it.  However, it’s really limiting our potential.  We could invest more money into the business.  We could save and renovate the living room or kitchen.  I could pay off one of my student loans faster.  I need to get this area of my life under control.  It’s just hard.  I spend when I’m upset.  I spend when I’m bored.  I spend for fun.  My best approach is just not going out.  I honestly cannot leave the house without going to a store, and when it comes to going shopping for a specific item or list, well forget it…  A quick trip to Target for toilet paper turns into a $100 trip.

My resolution for February is to spend less.  I know that was one of my January resolution, but I think having those three tasks were too much to focus on at one time.  I’ll continue to recycle and declutter, but this month I’m going to focus on why I spend and how not to compulsively buy.  Instead of just trying to do better, I’m going to do some research and reading in order to better prepare myself to resist temptation.  I really would like to be content with what I have and spend less time thinking about what I want.  After all, I’ve been blessed beyond my expectation, and I have everything I need.  I need to spend less money and enjoy the riches that surround me.

Ahhh…new year, new decade.  While some fantastic things came out of the last decade, it’s refreshing to know that the next decade will be spent with a wonderful man that I love and a beautiful daughter that I adore.  We definitely have lots of good things ahead of us and reasons to be thankful.

This year I’m going to do things a little differently with my resolutions.  I’ve recently started reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  In her book, Rubin makes a list of monthly resolutions instead of a list of sweeping, grand ones for the entire year.  I think this is a brilliant idea.  It gives you a chance to really focus on your changes by honing why you want to make them and the specific details of the adjustments you need to make.

In January, I’m going to focus on Conservation.  I want to conserve my money, my attention, my waste, my mental energy, etc.  Basically, I just want to simplify my life.  I spend way too much time perusing the internet for things I want or checking Facebook and comparing my life with those from my past.  I would benefit from the mental clarity.  My daughter would benefit from the extra attention and play.  Chris & his business would benefit from the extra cash in our bank account.

I also want to recycle more.  Of course, by spending less, I’ll cut down on packaging waste.  But beyond that, I want to do more.  I’ve gotten pretty lazy about composting (though I’ve recently asked Chris to take on the job of dumping the compost bucket, and he’s doing a fabulous job).   Recycling clearly benefits the earthy, but it’s also important that I set a good example for my daughter.

Finally, I want to converse by decluttering.  I’m not really sure how to explain this as conserving, but I do know that too much stuff is taxing on my mental energy.   Removing it would reduce my day-to-day frustration.  Plus it would help me be aware of what I have and need.  Or maybe I can explain it as conserving (or reclaiming) space.  Either way, it’s my goal.

Because I need regular reminders of my goal, I’m going to make a check sheet of these individual goals and post them on the fridge.  If I perform them every day, I’ll give myself a check.  If not, I get nothing.  I’m hoping this visual reminder will inspire me to keep going.

So do y’all have any advice on how to conserve and simplify your life?  Did you make any New Years Resolutions?  If so, what were they?

This may be a bit random so bare with me.  I’m lying in bed with a sick kid and a laptop.  I’m not sure if that makes me a good mom or a weird internet obsessed mom, but until I get sleepy enough to drift off myself, we’re here.

Yesterday, I posted the following on my Facebook profile: “I gave up soda to set a good example for the baby, but now all I want is a Coke Zero. SO.BAD.”  That resulted in lots of comments telling me that I was insane for that choice. That is, perhaps, very true, but I really feel like it was the right thing to do. 

It definitely wasn’t  intended to condemn others. I LOVE soda.  I love it so much that I can consume a 12-pack in a day and never think about drinking a drop of water.  On the other hand, my body hates soda.  Artificial sweeteners give me a killer headahce - one that analgesics can’t touch - that remains until my body has processed all the fake sugar.   I guess I could drink non-diet drinks, but I don’t think we even need to go there on what they can do to your body.

However, this decision has nothing to do with the headaches or the other health concerns related to artificial sweeteners.  To tell the truth, I didn’t really care.  Those headaches suck, but the delicious taste of Diet Cherry Dr Pepper far outweighs the pain.  We’ve decided to cut out soda because of Cecilia.  You see, we’ve recently fell of the wagon - the healthy lifestyle wagon.  We’ve been eating junk food like it’s going out of style, and last week, I noticed Cecilia looking at me and signing “More” as I snuck Hershey’s Kiss in my mouth.  (”More” is her way of asking for a bite.) Also, when I’m drinking a soda, she points to the can and signs and says “Yes”.  (Sign Language is awesome for babies until you realize that they comprehend a lot more than you want to admit.)

I really don’t think soda is bad, and I don’t want her to think soda is bad.  It’s all about moderation, but unfortunately, Chris and I suck at moderation.  So until we can get that a mastered, I’m planning on keeping soda out of the house.  I’ll still have my caffeine (Thank you, God, for coffee), and there will be occasional Sonic runs (large Diet Cherry Dr Pepper & a small ice water, please).  But we’re going to keep the cans & plastic bottles out for a while.  Lord help me.

Two weeks ago, Chris and I sat down and made a budget for the first time since we’ve been married.  I know that’s shocking for some folks, but for the most part, we’ve been responsible spenders and always lived within our means.  Don’t get me wrong.  There’s been a month or two that we’ve had to tighten up our spending, but we’ve never had a set budget.  Last week was our first official budgeted week.  How did it go?  I FAILED.

It should be noted that I’m in charge of paying the bills and doing all the shopping.  Chris does a wonderful job supporting our family, but he’s not so good at checking the mail.  Before we were together, he only checked his mailbox when his mailman refused to attempt to stuff it with any more bills, letters, and magazines.  Needless to say, I do the mail checking and bill paying.  Of course, bills aren’t really the problem; it’s the shopping.  I have a really hard time keeping that in check.  Of course, it doesn’t help that my laptop was on it’s last leg and finally bit the dust last week.  That’s definitely pushed us over.

That brings me to the point of my post.  What do you do to keep your shopping in check (including all non-grocery purchases)?  I’m pretty good at keeping within my food budget, but I need help in other areas!

So what have I been doing while Chris spends the weekends working?  Feeding my new addiction - sewing.  Actually, I’ve been learning how to sew.  Well, rather, I’ve been watching my mother-in-law sew and occasionally sewing myself (when she makes me).  She’d probably dispute that and say that I’ve been doing most of the work.  She’s a nice lady but a liar.  Just kidding! (Not really.) (Okay, really.) Regardless, I figure we I should show off my work.

Cute pink dress from week 1:

Blue flower skirt (from these directions) from week 2:

Obviously we’ve focused on baby clothes. There’s a couple reason for this. 1. Baby clothes are smaller and require less fabric. Therefore, if we screw it up, it’s not as costly to toss it out. 2. It’s easier. 3. Baby girl clothes are freakin’ cute. 4. Homemade clothes aren’t as cute on adults. That being said, my mother-in-law, Mauvie, is working on a skirt for me, but I made no promises on wearing it in public. We had to do something with all the extra fabric because, if you didn’t know, one of the major side effects of sewing is an addiction to buying fabric.

A few posts back I alluded to some changes that are taking place in our household that have indirectly taken away my time and creativity that I used for writing.  (Wait. Did I ever publish that post? I don’t remember.)  I figure it’s time to finally explain that.  A couple months ago, Chris and two of his guy friends/former co-workers (herein referred to as “The Dudes”) decided to start their own business.  I was and am very excited about this.  It’s something that I was encouraging Chris to do (specifically with The Dudes) long before they ever approached one another about it.  Unfortunately, without any capital or funding, everyone must continue working their regular day jobs while trying to get the business started.

Chris has been and continues to be a great father and manages his three full-time jobs (regular job, new business, daddy-job) very well.  However, there are times when something has to give, and often it’s the daddy-job.  Most Saturdays he asks for half a day of uninterrupted time to focus on the new business.  Sometimes he leaves the house and camps out a local coffee shop; sometimes Cecilia and I find things outside the house to do, like visiting the zoo or hanging with his parents.  Occasionally, he asks for entire weekends to focus on the business.  Overall, though, Chris has been making the most sacrifices.  He pulls all-nighters, has a midnight conference call with his contractors Sunday through Thursday, and works while rocking the baby to sleep.  Also, he sets all work aside for special occasions like our anniversary weekend or Cecilia’s birthday.

It’s been tough, but I think we’re making it work.  That’s not to say that everything is sunshine and roses.  There is a certain level of tension.  We’re both tired.  Neither one of us is getting a much of a break from our jobs.  Unfortunately, I think that’s just part of the journey right now.  I’m very supportive of the business.  This is one of Chris’s lifelong dreams, and it could prove to be very financially successful for our family.  However, I’m tired and crabby.  Likewise, Chris understands that taking care of a very active, very determined toddler is exhausting, but he’s doing a lot.  In fact, he’s doing more than most men would ever consider doing.

With that said, I’m trying.  I’m trying to write more, but I’m also trying to keep myself busy so I don’t notice that my best friend isn’t around as much.  Thankfully, Cecilia has turned a new leaf when it comes to naps, and I’m now able to put her down in her crib!  I’m too afraid of making a noise and waking her to clean so I’ll try to blog more.  That takes care of the time factor, but I’m not sure how to conquer the creativity-block.

If you have any interest, Chris and The Dudes’ new business’s site is called Bandit Software, and their first product is LeanKit: Kanban.

Last Monday, I joined two of my new gal pals from my moms group at zumba class.  Have you ever heard of zumba?  It’s an intense cardio workout based on a variety of latin and hiphop dances.  It’s an intense hour-long class that works and tones every major muscle group in your body.  I was really looking forward to attending because I’ve really reached a fitness rut.  As someone who used to workout every day for at least an hour without fail, I can’t seem to get to the gym, and the only way I get there is to agree to meet up with someone.

However, at the same time, I was really dreading the class because I have no rhythm. Like seriously, none.  I was in marching band my sophomore year of high school, and I faked playing the whole time because I couldn’t march and play.  Despite that, I still found myself out of step.  I haven’t been friends with these girls very long, and I’m still trying to sort of impress them.  I figured I would either 1. completely embarrass myself where I’m too ashamed to see them again, or 2. prove that I’m a big goober that’s worth keeping around.

Despite my fears, I had a good time.  I was completely lost most of that hour.  Even though there were 50+ women in the gym, I’m pretty sure the instructor kept looking at me like I was a lost puppy.  Maybe that’s because I would just jump up and down with the beat of the music when I couldn’t follow along with the steps.  I did have a good time, especially during the parts where you shake your hips.  I know I got that part right.

There’s just a few things worth mentioning about that night.  First, I realized that I really need to get out of the house regularly on a weeknight to do something with my friends.  I rarely do that because I’m afraid that it will interupt our regular dinner/bathtime/bedtime schedule.  However, Cecilia is getting to a point that she doesn’t need me to be there to go to sleep.  It’s good for my soul, and in return, it’s good for Cecilia.  Second, that particular zumba class is at a church.  It’s one of their ministries.  Despite being in a church, it’s a full-blown zumba class.  The only difference is that you pray before you shake your ass.  Third, I thought I had completely recovered from giving birth a year ago, but it appears that I need to do some kegel exercises less I wear diaper before my next zumba session.

59. Learn to ski or snowboard

My poor husband used to go snowboarding all the time until he met me.  Hell, he’s even snowboarded in Japan! I’m scared to death of it.  In fact, I’m scared of pretty much any sport that might involve falling and damaging my teeth.  However, if I get hurt, I’ll be in good company.  Chris always injures himself too.  You’ll have to ask him about the time he took Japanese Midol for an injured knee.

58. Increase my vocabulary

My mom used to say that curse words were used by people who weren’t intelligent enough to say something else. Shit. I guess I’m not very smart.  Well, or at least I knew that my vocabulary was lacking.  It also doesn’t help that every time Chris and I get in a fight he uses gigantic words, and I have no idea what they mean. Of course, I’m too pissed to ask him for a definition.  Man that shit pisses me off.

57. Be a contestant on Family Feud

56. Watch the top 100 movies of all time

55. Dig for diamonds

Did you know that Arkansas is the only place in North America that has diamonds? Did you also know that you can dig for them at a state park for a minimal fee? As an Native Arkansan, I really should dig for diamonds.

54. Experience an Australian Christmas

It’s hot there at Christmas! You can get sunburned on Christmas! It totally blows my concept of the holidays. Are their decorations the same? Surely there’s no Frosty the Snowman.  Does Santa still wear a heavy red coat and boots? Hot! Christmas! Crazy!

53. Eat at a diner made from an old train car

52. Own a miniature donkey

(Chris, my birthday is quickly approaching.)

51. Become a US Marshall

‘Cause they’re badass.

50. See the Northern Lights