These past few weeks I’ve been struggling with negativity, not my own but from people around me. I don’t believe in karma and auras, but there is something contagious about foul moods and I’m easily influences. Normally I would just avoid contact with these folks, but unfortunately they’re in circles of friends and family that I enjoy. To cut them out means that I would no longer see people who lift me up and encourage me. I’m not really sure what to do.

In the beginning, I tried to support the negative Nancys and Debbie downers. I listened to their complaints. I sympathized with their problems. I offered suggestions. Despite this, it never seemed to help. Their negativity came with a sense of despair and unwillingness to find possible solutions. It’s as if their only perfect solution was impossible and no other solution, albeit not perfect, would be suffice.

Now I can acknowledge that apoplectic situations do exist. Personally, I think they’re pretty rare, but when they do come along, I think it’s best to accept it and move forward.  Bemoaning the situation never helps, and besides, dwelling on the unpleasantries of life is, well, unpleasant. We can’t avoid all unpalatable events, but we shouldn’t prolong them. Plus I live by the motto, “Fake it until you feel it.” Sometimes it’s important to vent your feelings to a trusted confidant; often it helps to share your emotions. However, constantly spewing your tribulations to everyone every day gets to be burdensome. I think it’s good to pretend you’re in high spirits. After all, spending the day upbeat and smiling won’t leave you feeling heavy and downtrodden, even during the most difficult hardships.

Despite my approach to difficult situations, I still have to interact with negative individuals, and I’m not exactly sure what to do. I suppose I could follow my own advice and fake feelings of warmth and concern until I feel that towards them. However, I’m afraid their influence will leave me in a gloomy mood for several hours after speaking with them. How do you deal with these types of folks? What do you advise?

It’s come to my attention that several readers are upset about this post.  Let me clear a few misunderstandings.  This about folks that run in my circles of friends and family but are not within my inner circles.  To the best of my knowledge, these individuals do not read my blog.  I would not use this site as a means to attack those that I’m close to.  I’m very upfront with those I care about, almost to my detriment.  If I had a problem with a close friend or loved one, I would talk to them directly.  

I have a dentist appointment today so this morning I was giving my teeth and gums a good flossing and brushing.  While standing in the bathroom, he heard the garbage truck on the street (I have bat-like hearing, but that’s for another post), and I checked to see if Chris took the bin to the curb because I didn’t remember seeing him go outside this morning.  Yep, like always, he remembered.  I’m so thankful for a husband that always remembers that Tuesday is trash day and faithful wheels the receptacle to the street.

Happy 33rd birthday, Chris! I’m sorry I didn’t order a gift for you until Friday at 4:30 am when I was up feeding our daughter. I’m also sorry that I didn’t tell you, “Happy Birthday,” until I managed to shake my sleep deprived stupor at 1pm today. Though my priorities have recently rearranged, you are still the most important man in my life and my true love. I look forward to the many laughter-filled years in front of us. There is not a single day that goes by that I do not thank God for your presence in my life. I love you very much! Happy birthday!

“I finally got that pimple on my back to pop.”

“Good. I was worried.  I wrote about it in my diary.”

“Ass.”

There are some aspects of my job that I love and others that I loathe. I am very thankful to be able to help the Parkinson’s community, but at times, I struggle with working for a non-profit and the neutral position I must take on some issues. Today, however, was not one of those days. When speaking with a woman about the recent work of scientists to convert skin cells to cells that mimic embryonic stem cells,  I told her that one of the scientists behind this research, James Thomson, credits his work with embryonic stem cells for his recent discovery and that he continues to support the controversial area of study. She promptly told me that she was glad that there was another avenue for those with a Christian conscience and that maybe those people who’ve had an abortion or know someone that has can be okay with killing babies.

I am so thankful that my job requires me to have a mute position. Otherwise I might have ripped her a new one as a pregnant Christian that supports embryonic stem cell research. Since the research is still a decade or more away from any breakthroughs, I’m sure she’ll be dead by then. (She’s old and, by the way, did not have PD.) Maybe my Christian conscience should stop me from saying that, but I’m too busy killing babies to be worried about dying old people…

For the last three days, the indomitable and I haven’t spoken. We spent the weekend sitting in the living room with the TV off and the laptops stowed away, never making eye contact. An outsider would think that we’re in the middle of a spat, but at closer look you would see the little white cords streaming from our ears. The last Harry Potter book came out, and we’ve been enjoying the delectable readings of Jim Dale, the Harry Potter audiobook narrator. We’ve finished it today, and though I’m saddened by the series ending, the last book does not disappoint.

One of the first things that attracted me to the indomitable was his skills: computers skills, political knowledge skills, debating skills. He continues to impress me with skills: plumbing skills, yard care skills, hosta roping skills.

“We never parked and made out. We should do that more often.”

Today the indomitable and I attended our first pre-marital counseling session. The state of Tennessee gives you a $60 discount on your marriage licenses if you attend 6 hours of counseling. Of course, if you pay $85 per session, you realize that it doesn’t really save you any money, except for the cost of divorce lawyers. Our visit confirmed that the indomitable has a wonderful family. I’ve decide that, if he ever leaves me, I’m suing him for custody of his parents.

Over the past thirteen months, the indomitable has undergone radical changes. I would like to personally take credit for a large part of this. When we originally started dating, I told him I was only in it for fun; he told me he was in I t to become “house broken”. After dating for a few months, I realized that I shouldn’t let another woman reap in the rewards from my hard work.

This is a picture of the indomitable (on the far right) before I entered his life. At that time, he knew my name but didn’t care. In fact, he didn’t care about anything. His daily activities included things that would make his mother cry and his dad furrow his brow in disappointment. He was an angry, fat indomitable.

This is the indomitable in September of 2006. We started hanging out in April and labeled it as “dating” in June. Notice that he doesn’t look as fat or angry. He still has red eyes, but that’s expected since he only took his contacts out once a month. Despite how rough he looks, you can tell a soul is starting to grow in the empty hole.

This is the indomitable at my family Thanksgiving. It was the first time he met my family. He’s hair is short and he’s wearing glasses. This is probably the most sincere smile yet. In fact, he looks really happy, which is amazing. I would expect most people to run screaming and frantic after meet my genetic likenesses.

Indomitable, today. I convinced him to cut his hair short and that it was okay to put hair product on his mane. Personally, I think he looks damn sexy. Over the past thirteen months, he has lost 70lbs, gained 125 (that’s me), and become dead sexy. Oh, the things that the love of a good woman can do!