I haven’t posted much about my NS-RED lately because it has been extremely dormant. I’ve had a couple occasions where I found energy bar wrappers scattered in the living room, but it is a far cry from my usual two to three episodes a night. Most mornings I wake to find myself on the sofa in the living room. I can only assume that sleeping Kelly is so exhausted from navigating all the boxes in her new surrounds that she collapses on the couch, only a few steps from her goal, the kitchen.
Though sleeping Kelly’s hibernation is odd, something more peculiar is taking place. Chris has developed parasomnia by proxy. Now, he’s always snored so loud that it cut through a 2 inch thick solid wood bedroom door, two loud air filter fans, and a television with surround sound, all at the same time, but he’s demonstrated some interesting behaviors since I moved in. First, he’s been eating in the night. He claims it was sleeping Chris, and then I point out that he a) remembers it, and b) doesn’t have a diagnosed condition. Secondly, he’s been talking in his sleep. Yesterday night he told me he was dreaming about Lindsey Lohan. The next morning I asked him about it, and he didn’t remember telling me. Finally, last night the indomitable went to bed at 8 (wimp). When my young, vibrant self got into bed at midnight, I accidentally bumped him, and he swung at me. Yep, Chris attempted to assault me. That’s a parasomnia if I ever heard of it. I’ve created a violent, Lindsey Lohan lovin’, midnight snacking, snoring Hef.