Daily Digestion 2.20.7

Half a Box of Special K Red Berries.

I’ve avoided purchasing Special K for almost a year now because, when I buy it, inevitably I wake up on the sofa covered in little crunchy flakes. However, I though she’d moved out of the cereal killer phased and I took a chance.

Daily Digestion 2.12.7 & 2.13.7

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Granola Bars.

Daily Digestion 2.6.7

Veggies and Hummus and Prunes.

She’s back.

Daily Digestion 1.26.7

I’m not really sure what has come over me. This morning I woke up to Chris talking and I was answering back. Even though I eventually came to realize he was on the phone with his dad, I was really excited. It occurred to me that I have not walked in weeks. I had some nights where I cannot fall asleep, usually when I drank something with caffeine to late in the evening or I’m overly excited about the upcoming wedding, but I have not woken to find myself in the living room or with remnants of food in my teeth.

I have a few guesses on why this has suddenly happened: I’m not working so my stress level is much lower, I’m blissfully in love and feel comfortable and protected by my wonderful Indomitable, I go to bed at a decent hour because the Indomitable requires more sleep than sleepingKelly, and there is so much crap between my side of the bed, the wall, and the door (pillows, mainly) that I can’t make it to the door without crawling over the sleeping Indomitable.

Despite this new phenomenon, I still have moments of fear. Like last night, we left a box of Cookie Crisp on the kitchen counter, and I was so scared that I would consume the entire thing before 5am. I’m still going to be careful and not invite too many temptations into my home, like Doritos. We’re trying to lose a few more pounds before the wedding, and I don’t want sleepingKelly to sabotage that. However, I thinking awake Kelly would probably give into the temptation of the salty wonderfulness of Doritos, so it’s probably best to keep those out anyway.

Daily Digestion 1.14.7

Because of my quirky sleep disorders, I rarely get out REM sleep. People need to get past REM to allow their body time to recuperate from the day. Unfortunately I just stay in REM and exhaustingly dream my nights away. Last night, I dreamed that I had place a bid on eBay during a sleeping walking episode. Now sleepingKelly has become paranoid about herself. At least she is starting to take responsibility for herself. (I also dreamed that Rachael Ray and I were good friends, and she told me she was pregnant.)

Daily Digestion 12.12.6

An Apple.

I woke on the couch, again, with chunks of apple stuck between my gums and my upper molars. It is a miracle that the dentist didn’t find in cavities in my teeth last week when I went for my first clean in six years. (I’m very embarrassed to admit to that.)

Last night I chose to sleep on the sofa. As usual, Chris went to bed several hours before I did. I decided to go to bed around midnight after hours of studying. When I got to the bedroom, I touched his feet to let him know I was getting in bed but still allowing my face enough distance from the wingspan of his fist. Thankfully I was not greeted by domestic violence. Instead, he mumbled some incomprehensible statement that sounded like Russian and Japanese. What? And again, he repeated in the same foreign language. I tried to gentle nudge him awake a little. All I got in return was half English and half Russ-panese.

Where do you go when your source of protection and comfort is speaking in tongues? Out of fear, I left my demon possessed boyfriend in the bedroom and slept on the sofa. The next time the poltergeist emerges, I’m making him sleep on the couch.

Daily Digestion 12.11.6

I haven’t posted much about my NS-RED lately because it has been extremely dormant. I’ve had a couple occasions where I found energy bar wrappers scattered in the living room, but it is a far cry from my usual two to three episodes a night. Most mornings I wake to find myself on the sofa in the living room. I can only assume that sleeping Kelly is so exhausted from navigating all the boxes in her new surrounds that she collapses on the couch, only a few steps from her goal, the kitchen.

Though sleeping Kelly’s hibernation is odd, something more peculiar is taking place. Chris has developed parasomnia by proxy. Now, he’s always snored so loud that it cut through a 2 inch thick solid wood bedroom door, two loud air filter fans, and a television with surround sound, all at the same time, but he’s demonstrated some interesting behaviors since I moved in. First, he’s been eating in the night. He claims it was sleeping Chris, and then I point out that he a) remembers it, and b) doesn’t have a diagnosed condition. Secondly, he’s been talking in his sleep. Yesterday night he told me he was dreaming about Lindsey Lohan. The next morning I asked him about it, and he didn’t remember telling me. Finally, last night the indomitable went to bed at 8 (wimp). When my young, vibrant self got into bed at midnight, I accidentally bumped him, and he swung at me. Yep, Chris attempted to assault me. That’s a parasomnia if I ever heard of it. I’ve created a violent, Lindsey Lohan lovin’, midnight snacking, snoring Hef.

Daily Digestion 11.28.6

One Red Juicy Apple.

I know it was juicy because I woke up with a sticky mess all over my hands and arms.

Daily Digestion 10.23.6

One Large Hunk of White Almond Bark.

I think I had about two servings, which is an hour on the elliptical machine. Balls.

Daily Digestion 10.22.06

An Apple.

I never made it to the bed last night. The asthmatic Darth Vader noises erupting from the bedroom encouraged me to sleep on the sofa.