Cause I Need to Prove She’s Mine Once Again

Categories: Cecilia , pregnancy | 3 Comments

Friends of Chris, upon meeting Cecilia for the first time, always declare that she looks just like her daddy.  I can see it, especially when she smiles.  However, as I’ve pointed out on numerous occasions, she predominately resembles me and my family.  Here’s another example (cause you needed one, I know).  Cecilia compared to my sister’s son, Aiden. They even share the same uninterested smirk.

(Please ignore the obvious color/light/exposure variations. These were taken several years apart, and my photography/photoshop skills and tendencies have improved and changed.)


11.23 063

Postpartum Product Recommedations

I have several pregnant readers that will soon become first time moms.  A couple of them have asked me for product recommendations for their baby registry, and that got me thinking about what I wanted and needed during those first few weeks of motherhood.  I think too often the focus is on the baby and making sure she has the right clothing, bedding, and diapering and not enough attention is given to the postpartum mother.  If we ever have another child (if is key), here are a few items that I’ll have around.

Washlet by Toto (starts around $400).

When Chris went to Japan, he fell in love with having his bum sprayed with warm water, and he’s been petitioning for a washlet ever since.  In his words, “If you got crap on your hand, you’d wash it with water.  You wouldn’t just wipe it off.”  Well, the whole thing seemed a bit extravagant to me.  Then I had a baby, and pain in my nethers kept me from pooping for three days.  A washlet is much easier than a peri-bottle and more dignified than a sitz bath.  Plus it would fulfill Chris’s dream.

Adjustable Shower Nozzle by Gaiam ($10)

I’ve written about this shower head before, praising it’s earth-friendly low flow and adjustable valve that allows you to take navy showers.  I thought I loved it before, but I think I was just infatuated.  I discovered a deep love and appreciation for that valve when my newly lactating boobs turned into ultra sensitive boulders.  (Not that I’ve mentioned that before.) The ability to dial down the pressure and apply warm water to my aching breasts was a God sent.  Oh, Gaiam shower nozzle, how I love thy gentle touch…

Angelcare Deluxe Movement Monitor ($140)

Technically this is a baby item, but it’s for your peace of mind.  The first night of Cecilia’s life, I laid awake in our hospital room staring at her while Chris snored.  I was scared out of my mind that she’d stop breathing if I fell asleep.  This monitor detects the tiniest movement, even small breaths, and if doesn’t pick anything up for 20 seconds, it sets off a loud alert.  It’s hard to catch some zzz’s those first few weeks;  the last thing you need is your crazy postpartum hormonal paranoia keeping you up.

Step Stool  ($25)

We have a tall bed, and when I was pregnant, I had a hard time climbing into it.  However, I couldn’t justify spending money on a stool when I only needed it for a few months.  Then an internal battle took place between my body and my uterus, and I needed help getting out of my adjustable hospital bed.  My sweet brother-in-law bought this stool for me the day before we got home (bless him), and it help me crawl slowly into bed.  Thankfully it’s a practical thing to have around the house to this day.  I mean, it’s a stool.   Everyone can use a stool!  Right now it’s functioning as a place for Chris to sit while giving Cecilia a bath.

Alright, that’s all the not-so-obvious products that I can think of.  I’d also recommend preparing some make-ahead meals during your 8th month, sending your pups to doggy daycare that first week, and having the name and number of a local lactation consultant in your dayplanner. What do all you experienced mothers out there recommend?

Closet Reader

Categories: pregnancy | No Comments

The indomitable and I attended birthing class every Tuesday for six-weeks during the last trimester of my pregnancy.  I’m pretty sure the other couples in our class quickly identified us as the cynical ones that did not feel wrapped up in the emotions and romance of new parenthood.  Despite our attitudes, we had the opportunity to meet some pretty interesting folks including Matthew Paul Turner, a Christian author and satirist.  I’m pretty sure he and his wife would never be our friends (since we are super negative and shit), but I’ve kept up with his blog.  Part of me feels like this is slightly stalking since I’ve actually met him.  (Oppose to just reading a writer’s blog that I haven’t met - that wouldn’t seem weird to me at all.)  He recently wrote this post that I believe most expectant father’s can identify with.  It’s so truthful that I’ve decided to out myself and admit that I’m a follower of his blog.


After 41 weeks and 5 days of waiting and 28 hours of labor, Cecilia Laine Hefley was born June 28 at 5:00 am. She weighed 7lb 14oz and was 20 1/4″ long.  As you can see, she’s the most beautiful baby in the world.  She was worth the wait (but I still would have preferred for her to arrive on time)!


Oh Give Me a Home Where the Goatee Can Roam!

Categories: pregnancy | No Comments

For the majority of my pregnancy, I’ve been even keel.  In fact, the pregnancy hormones have done more good than a daily dose of Lexapro.  However, with labor lingering in the near future (hopefully very near future), new levels of different hormones are surging through me.  I got a real sense of this on my drive to Franklin from Nashville this morning as I passed the house with a backyard full of goats.  Normally, I take the opportunity to bleat at them, which is the highlight of my drive. Today was different.

As I drove by, I saw a small , lonely blond goat outside the fence, desperately trying to find his way back in.   He looked so devastated and confused. I really felt for this little goat. (By little and small, I mean he was probably an adult goat, but when compared to me, he is much smaller than I.)  Tears started to form in my eyes, and it took all my will power to not stop and try to help him.  (Of course, I’m assuming he’s a friendly goat, which probably isn’t true.)  In fact, I can’t stop thinking about the little guy.  What if he gave up trying to get home and wandered into the street and got hit by a car?  Oh little goat!

This goat pity then turned towards all wayward animals, and I began to dwell on all the little lost puppy souls at the animal shelter and buying a home with a large fenced yard for dogs and goats to roam…

Is That What She’s Doing?

Categories: pregnancy | No Comments

Take That, Stinky!

Categories: pregnancy | No Comments

Since becoming pregnant, I’ve discovered that on any given weekday you can have continuous baby entertainment between The Learning Channel and Discovery Health.  This non-stop labor and delivery coverage has really grossed out the men renovating our bathrooms.  Even though they may find it nasty, but I find it disgusting when they stink up the only functioning bathroom in the house.

For Stashing Your Spare Bullets

Categories: pregnancy | 2 Comments

What the hell is this? Why do people think pregnant women need Rambo sashes to hold up their underwear?


That’ll Shut Em Up

Categories: pregnancy | 1 Comment

There are some perks to being pregnant. For instance, most people are eager to hold the door open for you. You also have a somewhat valid excuse to gorge yourself as if you were carrying a litter of elephant seals. However, I do get very tired of the constant repetitive daily question from everyone, “How are you feeling?” This is, of course, spoken in a higher pitch, gentler toned voice and accompanies with a head tilt. I know people are asking in kindness, but some day I’m going to answer truthfully and say, “Well, my boobs are leaking through my shirt so I have to wear itchy kotex-like pads in my bra, my hormones have caused me so much acne that I have zits on my butt, I’m on the verge of developing hemorrhoids, and I can no longer see lady land.” I guess if I say all that I probably won’t have to mention mood swings.

Where Dimples Come From

Categories: pregnancy | No Comments

A few days ago I was feeling on my belly, and I could feel a body part, either a back or a butt. So I had the indomitable press on it, and he felt her too. After a few minutes of rubbing on the butt/back, he said, “Is it okay to do this? We’re not going to put hand prints in her skull or anything?” After I reassured him that it was okay, he said, “If we did, we’d have to name her Thumbelina.”